Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Hold On!

This blog post has been stewing in my head for about a couple months, part of me dreads writing it, part of me is excited to write it, so it is time to put perspective in order and make a decision.  As of this very moment I am putting my photography career on hold for a while.  I will follow through with the sessions I have scheduled, but will not be scheduling any new sessions until further notice.  The part of me that dreaded writing this is the part that absolutely loves my job, loves my clients, loves the sweet kids and families I get to meet, and I can only hope that you all can understand my decision.  8 years ago when I started this journey I could only dream of ever having such amazing clients, and it breaks my heart to have to put it on hold. 

If I love it so much then why?!  

my #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 reason
Reason #1: My husband is in his last semester of schooling, it demands more study time, more test time (which he has to drive 2.5 hours to take), more homework, more projects...anyone that has ever survived the last semester of school knows how hard it can be, I am sure.  We have enjoyed his very flexible hours, but it is time to buckle down and get done.  I cannot take him away from his study time so I can go to a shoot anymore.  It is his time to ROCK IT, to get it done, to feel accomplished and he needs me behind him 100%.

Reason #2-5: Are named Jacey, Dax, Skye, and Colt.  When you are sending Dad and the kids on a vacation to Grandma's house leaving you home to work you know something is not how it should be.  The scale is tipping away from family time and more towards work time.  Photography has become more than a full time job for me and I need to slow down, and enjoy these moments with my kids.  Jacey is entering the pre-teen phase of life, Dax is a new cub scout, Skye gets to start school this fall, and Colt is my baby growing up way too fast, they are excellent, well behaved kids who deserve more of my attention, encouragement, and time.  I need to cook them dinner, I need to read them books at bed time, I need to tuck them in at night.  I need to be home with them, because all too soon they wont want to be home with me (unless I make the habits now!). 

Reason #6: Me!  I have been a photographer for 8 years, I have loved every client, I have made some awesome friends and connections, I have gained an incredible knowledge and I count it all as a blessing!  I still love photography, and I will always love it, but I can't remember the last time I got my camera out just to shoot for me.  No rime or reason behind it, to get out and learn new techniques, shoot what I want.  I have found myself feeling relieved to "forget" my camera on family outings-how sad is that?!  I have even resorted to using my dinky camera on my phone just so I don't have to sit for 5 more minutes to edit pictures of my family life, but then I always hate the quality of them and wish I had taken my good camera with me.  I want to be able to lay down during my kids quiet time and read a good book, and not feel guilty that I have unedited pictures waiting for me.  At night when my kids go to bed I want to sit on the couch next to my honey and chat about our day without feeling an urgent need to finish editing a session.  I have 2 other jobs and a calling in church that like my family, deserve more of my attention and time.

One of my favorite sayings, and I get to see it in big letters every Sunday is: What e'er though art, act well thy part.  It is time for me to be a better mom, wife, caring person, to learn to balance family, religion, and free time.  So I hope you are all understanding and can see where I am coming from.  Don't worry I will be back at it before too long I am sure, but until then...

1 comment:

  1. I'm proud of you. Decisions like this are hard to make. Enjoy the new change of pace and don't look back! I love your portraits and will miss your talents, but your family deserves to have you - all of you.